So today I had my first appointment of my full sleeve tattoo.
Some of you wanted to know the meaning of it, so I’m going to share it with you. The tattoo is by far not finished, and I need to go again for atleast two times more.


As you can see there is a deathheads moth on my shoulder. The moth stands for transformation and beauty to me. (And yes, it’s also the same moth from ‘Silence of the lambs’, which is one of my favourite movies). Plus the fact that I just love moths ♥ The transformation I am going through right now and will go through for a few years. I’m talking about the tranformation to the person I really am. About the whole transitioning process from female-to-male, and how I will become ‘beautiful’ in my eyes. I used quotation marks on the word beautiful, because I’m not saying I’m butt ugly right now (just average looking, though not ugly?) but when I’m fully transitioned I will become beautiful in my eyes because I will look how I want to look like. Bringing my personality to the outside.

There is also going to be some ‘windy’ parts. The wind is a symbol of freedom and strenght, and it also represents motion/movement for me. I think I’ve become a much more stronger person than I used to be, if I compare my current self with how I was 10 years ago. And because (in my opinion) it takes alot of strenght (and willpower) to decide to come out as trans and enduring the whole transitiong process, because there are still alot of people who don’t have the courage to do that (which is a shame). And freedom because I have the freedom to do what I want to do, and that it’s all possible for me (I’m so happy to live together with the most caring and understanding person in the world, my love). Motion/movement is (how obvious) standing for moving on to me. Trying to leave the past behind me (though not forgotten!), and to learn to move on. No more regrets, no more feeling sad. It’s time to move on, and become a more happy and better person.

The flowers (not pictured on the photo) are inspired by lilies. A tiger lily to be more precise. The tiger lily usually stands for pride, fierceness, power and strength. Though the color of the tiger lily will be altered to blue, because, it’s my favourite color in the first place. The arm will be fully colored in a dark blue color. The tiger lilies will be a light, bright shade of blue. For me the color blue doesn’t really have a meaning, but I’ve looked on the internet what it can stand for.

Light blue stands for health, healing, understanding and softness. Dark blue is associated with depth, expertise and stability. Though it also symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith and truth.

The session went well, it didn’t hurt too much. Though there were several parts that were very sensitive. I have had several lung surgeries in the past (both lungs) which resulted in having some nerves damaged on the inside of my right arm, armpit and parts of my chest and boobs. Because those nerves are damaged, I lost alot of feeling and sensitivity there, but it’s also very sensitive on some parts there when it’s being touched. This really sucks, but I’m more used to it now. In the beginning it even hurted and felt really weird when touching it, so I avoided it as much as possible. The session took about 2.5 hours, which was do-able luckily. We had a little break in between to drink, go to the toilet, relax, etc. I’m very pleased with the results so far! The blue lines you see underneath the moth is where the wind will come, so it’s not going to stay like this. I can’t wait for everything to be all finished and healed. ♥ My next appointment will be at the end of this month!


8 thoughts on “[15.5.2013]

  1. VelvetBat -

    The tattoo looks really awesome so far!
    And it is also very interesting to read the meaning behind it. It sounds really beautiful!

    And I love Silence of the Lambs too! :D

  2. Nina -

    I absolutely love your first picture of your sleeve! It is so beautiful!
    And normally I can’t read big pieces of text because of my autism, but I have read the whole text!
    You have put a beautiful meaning into your tattoo, and I can’t wait to see more! ^^

    1. King_Chaos -

      Thank you so much! I will keep it in mind to try and make future posts with lots of text easier to read then ^^

    1. King_Chaos -

      Thank you dear! I also love it already, so I can’t wait for the whole thing to be finished and to show it to you all! ♥

  3. Violet -

    The tattoo looks amazing!!!
    The meaning behind the tattoo makes it so special and beautiful. I’m really curious about the final result. :)

    1. King_Chaos -

      Thank you! ♥ I’m also curious how it will look like in the end, to finally see it realised!


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